Intro (31.5.2020):
By way of an explanation... today's 'A Man for all Season' artefact comes in the shape of a fanzine entry that formed part of the serialised feature: 'The Wonderful and Frightening World of Johnny Thud', in which Mr Thud (a semi-fictional character) pontificated at great length about his grossly exaggerated life experiences, in an autobiographical manner.
The title of the album 'The Wonderful and Frightening World of the Fall' (released circa. 1984) was obviously pilfered and regurgitated within the 'zine, while the original vinyl LP was a virtual ever present on my turntable at the time.
His persona (Johnny Thud that is) was that of twenty-nine year old man, who'd signed a series of disclaimers for numerous lump sums of cash, to undergo various medical experiments and narcotics trials over the years, under a variety of different aliases.
Subsequently that had accounted for him being financially stable, but had also turned him into a bit of an oddball, who'd reminisce to anybody who'd listen to him, and regale them with his far-fetched tales pertaining to his numerous incredible (and non-credible) life experiences, that his damaged brain had cruelly convinced him were genuine recollections.
And, it needs to be said, he fibbed about things quite a lot too.
It was mostly the young drinkers who he'd rabbit on to, who'd become a bit of a captive audience, who still couldn't get served in any other pubs, because they didn't look old enough... while the locals of his own generation ignored 'Johnny' and shunned him for being a bit strange. One or two of them had also taken to calling him: Jack O'Nory, after the children's television programme that revolved around story-telling.
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| The Fall - Casting their Dragnet at East Retford Porterhouse. |
This fanzine character originally underwent a surgical procedure (organ donation) so that he could afford to buy a leather jacket, copious amounts of hallucinogenic drugs and the first two Ramones albums... and that's how it all started, before things spiralled and escalated out of control.
It wasn't a merely a coincidence that 'Johnny Thud' did at times, bear an uncanny resemblance to a hairy-biker called Ben, who used to entertain us with his yarns (that he sadly thought we believed were all true) when he joined us in the Half Moon public house (Market Square, Retford, which was a few minutes walk away from the Porterhouse nightclub) of a midweek evening, while we were drinking underage, imbibing pints of snakebite and scoffing hands full of magic mushrooms picked freshly that day from either the Kings Park, or the 'Rec on Leverton Road (which virtually opposite where I live now as it happens). I hasten to add, that Ben hadn't really made his living from being involved in any kind of medical tests (at least I don't think he had), he was actually a council road sweeper by day, a Littlewood's pools collector two evenings per week and a courier for drug dealer from Doncaster by night. So now you know. Incidentally, Kings Park Rangers is the name of our 'pop quiz' team that occasionally does really well locally, but bombs without a trace at other times... I guess that all depends on whether the 'Liberty Caps' are in season or not.
Trepanning and me - by Johnny Thud
It was pointed out to me recently that the V shaped scar tissue infringement that is sometimes, very occasionally more prominent than others, upon the top of my forehead, resembles the aftermath of a Trepanation procedure.Which is ironic given that I have often seriously thought about the not inconsiderable risks and consequences of treating my head to such a luxury.
Having studied the subject in quite some depth, I'm quietly confident that a Trepan entry and blood letting is purported to raise ones level of consciousness and can quite possibly be accountable for speeding up the working efficiency of the brain, by process of circulating the blood more quickly and opening up previously otherwise closed off routes for the serum to flow through ... a garage like service for the old grey matter if you like.
But I've never heard of any evidence suggesting a Trepanation can cause memory loss.
So although I've got no actual recollection of any such occurrence, surely I would remember having been party to such a procedure.
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But I've never heard of any evidence suggesting a Trepanation can cause memory loss.
So although I've got no actual recollection of any such occurrence, surely I would remember having been party to such a procedure.
Maybe I performed the operation myself, but unwittingly at a critical moment forgot to take into account that my image in the mirror was in inverse proportion to the real me, causing an inadvertent entry to the wrong part of my skull which subsequently punctured of my memory cells.
Could anybody who may have been present at the time that I administered myself with a DIY Trepan operation please come forward and demystify my curiosity, because I'd hate to waste any money paying for something I've already had done before.If I have inadvertently trashed my cerebellum, it would certainly explain a few things, like my tendency to repeat myself and it would certainly explain a few things, like my tendency to repeat myself.
It's proven that any given decision making process is not at its best when it feels like ones head is becoming a compression chamber, squeezing the brain in a vice like grip and constricting the natural ebb and flow of logical thought.
Options that are not usually considered, but which become irrationally chosen in the heat of the moment and are invariably rushed (and botched as a consequence) are seldom ever the right ones.
Pounce in haste repent at your leisure n' all that.
Besides which, they won't be creaming off their cut from prescriptions for painkillers and anti-depressants if the patient no longer requires a remedy that stifles the side effects and symptoms rather than a cure for the actual root cause for their ailment.
They're crafty fuckers these doctors and they know that there will always be pharmaceutical companies willing to top up their income, with some sizeable backhanders for extolling the apparent virtues of the next drug of choice that appears on the ever burgeoning market.
Anyway, I will keep you updated when I make the decision regarding my desire to have my skull drilled. I swear on my kids life this is all true.
Obviously I won't be taking the plunge right now, due to the fact I'm suffering from my latest round of headaches and know that my powers of rational thought are somewhat impaired and hampered by the blood flow restrictions my present condition is causing... but at least I'm still capable of a modicum of awareness I s'pose. And I'm definitely, seriously and genuinely looking for some long term and more permanent alternative solution than the one that medication and and a blind acceptance that this is just the way things are meant to be.
It's quite reassuring and uplifting that so many of my friends have offered to chip in towards the cost of my forthcoming Trepanning experience, it's heartwarming to know just how many goodly people care so much.
Thank you all, it means a lot. I'll let you know how things went in due course. Johnny T.
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| The Half Moon, 'twas. next door to the Town Hall |
Footnote (31.5.2020): Neither the fictional or real life 'Johnny Thud' ever fathered any children. "I swear on my kids life, so strike me down god", was his stock in trade catchphrase (he was a confirmed atheist too). So generally speaking, whenever he resorted to mentioning his fictional offspring or the lord almighty, we all knew that he wasn't telling the truth,... but we never let him know we'd rumbled him, because if nothing else, he was always good for standing a round of drinks when we were skint.